T ale strategy comes from the simplistic reasoning that in life you must have a steady partner at all costs.
The reasons for this conviction that triggers often disastrous strategies are many, but among the main reasons
- Education. Without
partners do not create a family and no family has not been realized, so there is no happiness without love. It is inclined to see the partner search as a simplification of the problems of existence.
- D ebolezza, fear. is thought not to be self-sufficient and the idea of \u200b\u200bhaving a support that helps us in life seems essential.
- Sex. Who has difficulty in finding a sexual partner thinks that "stop" in a relationship will solve the problem of sex (simplistic reasoning, too).
- Sex inhibited. There are those who did not develop fully his sexuality and thinks that only in an official report can live their sexuality.
- private interest. Running from sad and dreary "I'm getting married out of interest" to the more common "I need a man (woman) in my life." Notice the difference on the ground "weakness" in that the lack di autosufficienza può essere inconscia e comunque mai voluta, mentre dove c'è interesse privato la mancanza di autosufficienza è voluta, scelta come strategia esistenziale.
Se l'adolescente (o l'adulto romantico) sogna il principe azzurro o la bellissima principessa, man mano che i sogni svaniscono ecco che si instaura una nuova strategia: cerchiamo il meno peggio che abbiamo intorno e fermiamolo, ma nel frattempo non smettiamo di cercare e di sognare.
Iniziano allora rapporti che da una (o da entrambe le parti) sono vissuti come "ultima spiaggia": me the (a) hold because I could not find a better deal, but I know that I would like better.
This strategy is very dangerous because it causes harm to themselves, but above the other and are preparing to betray.
Common Strategy
In both couples adopt the strategy of last resort.
The relationship is very loose (see you soon and take the easy excuse of distance that strengthens the relationship, forgetting the wise saying out of sight, out of mind) or falsely close (if you are already married or you live). There is very little affection
, the minimum sex, the report appears cosmetic. Becomes disastrous when there are children because they are the real victims of the relationship of parents who irresponsibly got together.
single
Strategy The strategy adopted by only one component the pair, while the other is true love. The report is
still cold, with a dominant and a dominated (the person who really loves). If the couple desperate
(why get together if you already know that the partner does not exceed our examination of existential?) you create the enabling environment, betrayal can be the agenda (as well as forgiveness, because otherwise we would be talking of last resort?), often not only at the end of sex, but as an escape dall'insipidezza of a relationship that is known to be disappointing or as the first test of a change partner.
short, the big question (to be done to himself and partner):
The person with whom I am meeting or, if I were any better, do not hesitate to download it?
Who says "I'm not satisfied" and continues the report, can not have a life fully lived.
If he does just to have a sexual counterpart, knows that it is more fair to have reports of one night. If he does
just to have a counterpart existential know which is stronger than learn to live alone while waiting to find a soul mate may be: those who can not live alone, how can we expect others to solve your life? And if both can not live alone? Recall that two lame that you support one another, sooner or later stumble over the same.
If he does out of pity, by convention ("Till death do us part", etc..), Etc. for the children. is more honest to admit you were wrong and try to correct the mistake with the truth that, smart people, can never hurt at all.
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