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LA SCELTA DEL PARTNER

The choice of partner is not left to our free will. Fall in love a person only when they meet we have within us an idealized image. Before we build, and then projected on the other. So we do not like what it is, but what we imagine to be.

But what we build and we project?

fact love us also pursue compensation for what we did or where we felt deprived in our emotional needs, or sometimes even "hostile" or sometimes "bad" to us by a very important figure. Consequently, we ask our love, in a more or less consciously, to provide for filling the gaps of our past emotional or remedy the emotional wounds inflicted. Sometimes these requests are placed as the other side of the coin: we try to make up or "cure" him, to make up or "cure" us.
summarizes the process of love could be represented as the aspiration to two possible desires, opposing each other:

• the first wish is what we look for a person to love as much as possible similar to the popular figures of our childhood.
  
• his second wish is antithetical to the first because it seeks a person to love you put away the shortcomings and emotional wounds inflicted by the primary figures.
  

Achieving a good balance between these opposing desires can make a happy love. The lack of balance, leading to different solutions instead of compromise, more or less painful.
We may summarize the whole with a metaphor. It 's like adult in every love we put in place a film script (affective and relational) that we have seen e vissuto ripetutamente nella nostra infanzia, di cui non abbiamo gradito lo svolgimento ed il finale, e speriamo di cambiare quest'ultimi nella nuova storia d'amore. Ma, purtroppo, svolgimento e finale cambiano per pochi, e solo per quelli che avendone consapevolezza non pretendono di cambiarli del tutto, ma solo di modificarli parzialmente.